i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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