And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
