Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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