Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
