I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
