3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
