dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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