I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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