And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
