What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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