party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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