Can i not drive my cunt home
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
