i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
