Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the day after is always just damage control
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
