I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
