omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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