Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
