Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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