We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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