Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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