Hey man sorry I got all grabby
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
