Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
