Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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