she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize