God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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