No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
