Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
