just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
