this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
