closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
