I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
