I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
