My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize