Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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