There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize