My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
