You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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