This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
