***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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