hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
