i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
