Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
