these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
