My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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