oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I CAN MOONWALK!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
