Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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