Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
