I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
