I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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