It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The best revenge is premature balding
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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