Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
