does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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