I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
