oh god the rape fog is back!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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