Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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