i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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