I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
