he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i believe in u and ur pee
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
