Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize