so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
