Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
