only if we run a train.
done.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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