A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Green mimosas i think yes
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
