I want to make a zoo with you.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
