Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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