You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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