Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
