oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sorry about my life...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
