is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
where am i from again
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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