It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just threw up on my dentist
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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